Weeds

I was just out pulling a few weeds in the backyard. After the rains, the ground is very soft and gives way to pulling out the roots quite easily. Sure makes pulling weeds less work.

It makes me think of the two ways to get rid of weeds – aside from spraying them with pesticides. You can pull the thing out – root and all. Or, you can keep chopping off any growth above the surface, and eventually the root will die from lack of nutrients from the sun.

I guess the same goes for the sin in my life. There are times the Spirit comes and pulls something out of my life – root and all. It can be a painful experience – especially when the ground around it is hardened and dry. The process disturbs a lot of area and it takes a while until things get settled back down. Sometimes God softens the ground of my life with rain first. That is sometimes in the form of his overwhelming love – and sometimes in the form of raging storms that also bring the much needed rain.

Other times God just tells me to stay away from something – or not to do something I know I shouldn’t. Not giving in to a certain sin repeatedly does cause the desire for it to die out eventually. It’s a longer process and requires me to depend on God’s strength more to be obedient in the times of temptation.

Weeding isn’t fun. But to see a whole area well planted with no weeds is a beautiful thing. I’m thankful God is a vigilant caretaker in my life.

Who Knows?

I think that there is a part of us, as humans, that needs to be known. There is a part in each of us that desires to be seen, and known and approved of, by other humans. I think that is a big part of the draw to Twitter and Facebook and MySpace. They allow you to connect with other people and allows you to be, quite safely, known to others. What you are doing and what you think can be put out there for anyone to see. And really, how good does it feel when someone comments on your status? Isn't that an approval of sorts? Someone is showing interest in you.

We weren't created to just live and exist on our own. We were created for community. And we sometimes become quite driven to be seen, and known.

I think that when we consider ourselves to be known - by a person, or perhaps even God - and we are accepted, we are freed to become someone with eyes that look naturally beyond ourselves. We are filled to a point where we are no longer driven by the need to be known. Our focus is allowed to wander - even charged with an energy to apply our fullness to the world around us. We can invest who we have become known to be into those who themselves are seeking to be known.

The opposite of "known-ness" is loneliness. And we are perpetually in a state of one or the other.

We are created in the likeness of God. And a desire to be known, I think, is part of that. For us, it's a need - for him, it's a joy. He delights in us wanting to know him. We breathe in life in those moments we realize that he knows us.

Sometimes it's hard to let down the walls we've created to protect ourselves, and allow ourselves to be known - even to God. But I think today is a good day to maybe just peek over the wall and at least allow Him to see my face.

Getting Drunk

This past Saturday I went to a party. A few of us, perhaps, had a bit too much to drink. And we were acting like...well, like kids.

A few of us since then have remembered with some regret things we said and things we did while "under the influence".

And that is sad. I should first say that I personally did not witness any behavior that was out of order, wrong or unlawful. What I did witness was people - a group of friends - having a really good time together, forgetting that they cared more about what other people thought of them than just being themselves and enjoying each others company. And that's what it was - a bunch of kids, playing together, singing to some music, making jokes, dancing and being silly just for the sake of being silly. Forgotten were any petty "issues" that separated us, gone were the thoughts of "how do I look?". What was left was - "I'm glad you are here, let's enjoy living for a while together." And it was good.

It was the first time I was able to see some people for who they really are. And they were pretty good people. There was no judging, no taking yourself too seriously, no snide remarks or hurtful words.

And it makes me sad for the things in this world that inhibit us from living this freely all the time. It makes me sad that people feel, after the fact, that they need to apologize for who they really are.

The Bible tells us not to get drunk with wine, but instead, to be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18). It's curious that Paul - the author - would equate those two things here. Unless.....maybe it's just....that being filled with the Spirit could result in some of the same behavior as being filled with alcohol.

Maybe being truly filled with the Holy Spirit would cause me to be myself around others without fear of what they think. Maybe it would cause me to judge less, to rejoice in life more, and enjoy life with my friends to a greater degree. Maybe it would mean dancing, and laughing and not hiding my true self under what I think people expect me to be. Perhaps being filled with the Spirit is an experience in freedom and delight and honesty. Maybe it would mean that I would live out all the good things God put inside me without apology and without holding back.

Maybe it would look as improper as a group of drunk people, at first glance, appear to be.

Maybe. But I know last Saturday night was a great time. I will carry many fond memories from it of a great times spent with wonderful people. People, who were just being who they really are.

Root Bound

This weekend, while cleaning out some of last year's flower beds, I discovered some plant roots were still in a tight wad. Apparently, I forgot to loosen the root balls before putting them in the beds.

And since there are a bazillion great spiritual lessons to be learned through gardening and since I'm currently reading a book that talks about the emergent church and the good and not so good things about it.......

I got to thinking that perhaps the emergent movement is a response to being root bound, in a way. It would make sense in my own life. I think that the container my spiritual roots were growing in was too small for me - and I equated that container with God. It made me search for a bigger container - search for a bigger God. And so in that way, it was very good.

But the tendency perhaps is to throw away containers and flower beds and anything that hinders altogether. The danger of that is you are left with no protection, no community and very little recognizable purpose. I don't want to be planted in the middle of nowhere just to prove that I have absolute freedom. And I realize I do need the protection of being planted in a safe place, with others, where I can be tended to and bring joy to others.

So this is the thing - if our roots - our beliefs and the way we experience God -are in a container, that is too small. We need not limit Him that way. Allowing the containers of religious expression to dissolve and pushing past them to seek the depths of God is a good thing. Let me seek the depths of Him for the rest of my life and continue in the next life - I will never reach the end of Him. But let me also confess that I need the guidance of certain truth. Let me admit that I need to be planted by His house, by His people and I need the water and the Words he speaks. They are not meant to contain me, but to prosper me. They are not meant to restrain my freedom, but to protect me so that I may reach my full height.

I'm not sure if I'm saying this well or not. I was raised in a nursery in a container of limited understanding and religious practices, some of which had value, some did not. I thought that was God's way. I became root bound and unhappy with church and religion and God - unsatisfied. I wanted out, but didn't know where out led to. In my mind, I left. But it felt like being lost. Now I'm back, but with a new understanding (thank you, God). The container was not the ultimate destination for me.

The ultimate destination for me in this life is the earth. Someday it will be in the new heaven and the new earth. God encourages me to grow and search and question and discover and find and wonder with each new season. He never wanted to inhibit my growth. He urges me also to seek the things that will help me grow. And indeed, some of those things will look similar to the religion I followed before - church, prayer, Bible reading, speaking truth. But to understand that those things are not God - they are given for my benefit. God is bigger than any of those things - cannot be contained by those things.

It's time to accept the depths of a limitless, partly mysterious God - letting my mind wander in the wonder of the things of the Spirit, while holding true to the gifts he has given to help me grow, honoring truth and discipline in the life I have to live here on earth.

Exclusively True

Since reading “Sinner” by Ted Dekker, I’ve been thinking a lot about exclusivism. The book detailed a place in the future where tolerance was heralded and that everyone and every way was good and had benefit. This certainly does seem to be where we are heading. It came to the point that saying you were a Christian was unlawful because by it’s teachings, it automatically excluded the possibility that any other religion could be right. It made you narrow minded and intolerant.

I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Because there is a small part of me that rebels against the way the church has exercised exclusivism in the past and I realize it was unhealthy. On the other hand, the Bible teaches that Christ is the only way to God. It says we are to tell people about Him and encourage them to follow Him – making disciples.

But truth in it’s very nature, is exclusive. Two plus two will always equal four. The fact excludes any other possibilities. The sun will always rise in the East. Tomorrow I will be older than I am today. Sin, left alone, will always lead to death. I am not perfect – I will always, every day, need saving. There is only one death that leads to life. Truth.

At my very core, my spirit sighs at the speaking of such truth. Yet sometimes, my soul bristles – resents that truth just a bit. I don’t want to need saving. I don’t always want to bend my life to the helplessness that implies. So, given the “out” of “wanting to be accepting of people different than I am” sometimes, my mind wants to take it and run with it.

But the moment I do that, my footing becomes slippery and I get blown by the wind in what I believe and who I am. A very high price, indeed.

So, by the grace of God, I choose to believe. I will fearfully follow a God whose ways I do not understand – to the exclusion of all others. This God who is the only way – and His son who is my only chance at life – I will say without apology, is true.

Exclusively.

I just got back from another nature hike. I wonder if I'll ever get sick of them.

Walking through the woods is an exercise in viewing pre-planned chaos - and yet, there is such beauty. The randomness of fallen trees, rotting wood, collections of matted leaves and pools of muddied water seems sure. Yet, the way it all works together forms the wonder, and for me the comfort, of the woods.

It makes me wonder if that's the way God works in my own life as well. So many things seem random - so many things small and meaningless. I wonder if like the woods, my life contains so many pre-planned variables that follow the same pattern of death giving way to life. It gives me hope that even such things as long, cold winters and spells of non-creativity can somehow fit into a larger picture.

And it is a process. Those woods were formed over hundreds of years. Things take time to die and rot enough to feed the earth. New things take time to grow and become established. It may not look productive or organized, but ultimately it seems a Divine Process certianly is somehow involved.

I'll go back again, I'm sure. In a couple weeks the woods will be changed again. New things will be sprouting, more wildlife awake and moving and things beginning to show color. It will be good to see color.

Unlimited

Sometimes, God, I just wonder why.
Why create families?
Why form communities -
When we lead each other so far astray?
And why do we always look to our own needs?
Will that ever change?
Will it ever be that your body, your people
Become more important to us -
Than we, ourselves, as individuals?
And we, having needs,
How do we get past them – past ourselves -
To where life is no longer about us,
But about you?

And within your body we judge.
As if it were second nature only to breathing,
We judge -
Attitudes, actions, responses.
We read so much into
Body language, fake smiles or quick glances.
And we think we know
The whole story.
We put people in a box, even as
We put you in a box.

Maybe that’s where all this comes from.
Maybe it’s really you we are limiting, and therefore limiting
Your people.
And by limiting you and all that is beyond our control,
We begin to gain control -
Of something never meant to be controlled
By man.
You do give us what we seek.

If we could only understand
That when we limit you,
And your body here on earth -
These people who have become our family,
We also limit ourselves and who we would ever
Hope to become.
We are limited by our judgments and our own expectations,
Our own fears, our own ideas, and the parameters
Of our small thinking minds.

God, grow within us the desire for more.
Create in our hearts the restlessness
That pushes us to seek and search,
To question and reach.
And open our eyes,
God, help us to see beyond our boxes
And to accept the truth –
To accept the mystery of
The unlimited you.