The Crisis Connection

It's interesting how a shared crisis can bring people together, no more than that.  It can bond people together in a way that is unspoken, yet very real and strangely connected.

I have cancer.  No, that isn't quite right.  There is a small lump in my left breast that has been tested positive for cancer.  Invasive ductal carcinoma is what it is called.  But my whole body does not have cancer.  My whole being does not have cancer.  I am a very healthy person.  But this lump, it does have cancer.  And since the moment I found out about this, I was inducted into a special, amazing, and widely varied group of people.  We are people who have experienced cancer.  And unless you have been through it, there is no explaining it.

In the grocery store today, I ran into an old friend of mine.  I had known he had struggled wit cancer in the past and he informed me that his cancer has returned.  I could see it in his face, and the way he talked and even the way he spoke the words.  There was a recognition there of something I am also going through.  There were the slight eye shifts, the gentle tug at the chin and the corners of his mouth that let me know exactly what he was feeling.

So far, I haven't made it a point to tell a lot of people about my cancer.  It's not that I don't want them to know necessarily, but I don't want cancer to be who I am.  People know me as a person who is kind, or funny or whatever.  I do not want to be known as the person with cancer.  But as I spoke with my friend, I felt compelled to let him know that I understood, that I was part of the "in" crowd when in came to the unspoken griefs one wrestles with in this situation.

It has interested me that as people find out, they feel compelled to connect you with other people who have also experienced this unfortunate crisis.  And it is helpful.  It is encouraging to see so many healthy, happy people walking around who have once experienced the same thing you are now going through.  They understand your struggles in ways others cannot and can offer a knowing look as well as a "you will get through this" that becomes much more than a platitude.

I am thankful for the brave men and women who have shared with me their stories and struggles.  And I know there will be more.   I am thankful for the advancements in modern medicine that allows so many people to become survivors rather than victims.  And each day, each moment that grabs me with panic or worry remembrance, I think of these people and it makes it easier to take the next step, knowing I am in good company.